Couldn’t sleep again last night. Been having problems sleeping lately. I try my best to tire myself during the day so I’ll be so exhausted that I’ll just knock off to bed early for a good night‘s sleep. I don’t even nap in the afternoon. And yet, I just couldn’t get myself to doze off.
The problem with not being able to sleep is that your mind begins its flashbacks to the past. For me, the flashbacks will always take me back to the day I was at the hospital last October, the day I gave birth to my little baby girl and later to the day I lost her. The ordeal that I went through at the hospital; the pain, the fear, the anguish and as always the self blame. What did I do wrong?
It’s already been more than 3 months since then and yet I cannot seem to forget. I still look at Sara’s picture that I took with my mobile phone, every night before I go to bed.
I am moving on with my life but at times I feel like I’m not. When does the pain of losing her go away?
oh dear Mrs Z,... i wish I could share the pain with you. Mmg senang org nak cakap supaya bersabar and berdoa tp seksa hati yg menanggung Tuhan saja yg tahu. Hopefully semuanya akan ok. I know it will take some times... take care dear
ReplyDelete*al-Fatihah to Sara*
:( I miss Sara too
ReplyDeleteZaza: Tq so much for the support and friendship. It means the world to me. Biasalah.... There are times when I'm ok, and there are times when I'll be so sad thinking about what had happened and wondering why it had to happen to me. Anyway, on a happier note, I've got many babies to look forward to this year. Yours. :D Also, just got to know last night, my sis in law (Zameen's sister that went to your house in HK) is pregnant with her second child. Plus my bro in law's wife expecting twins which are due in July, I have many nephews or nieces to look forward to. :D
ReplyDeleteKaiserSoze: Janganlah sedih. We still have our precious Shafiq, right? love u. xoxo