"Happy Birthday Mrs Z".

I officially turn 35 years old today. I don’t really feel 35 but then again, how is a 35 years old supposed to feel? But I sure am dreading the big “40” which is waiting for me in 5 years time. When I turned 30, I hardly noticed it as I was busy being a wife, a mother to a very active toddler and juggling a career in HR. I hardly noticed the happenings of the world, let alone that I had turned 30. This time around, it feels different and I am very much aware of the looming “40”.

A lot happened in the past year, the most defining event being the birth of my daughter Sara, whom I lost 2 days 10 hours after her birth to Edwards Syndrome. As today marks my 35 years of existence in this world, yesterday marks the 2 months since my little baby girl left us. Her passing has affected me deeply, thus making my birthday today a bittersweet affair. I’m a much better person now, emotionally, than I was that very  day I lost her 2 months ago but I do still feel the sadness, despair and anguish from time to time. I know she is in a better place now so I really should move on with my life. Easier said than done, but life has to go on. I have to continue living for both my boys, my hubby & my son, Shafiq.

Flowers on my birthday from beloved Hubby.
 "Thank you Sayang".

I am extremely blessed with a wonderful and caring husband who loves me (and claims that he will love me for eternity. :D), an adoring son whom I am so proud of, family and friends whom have always been there for me. What more could I ask for?

Like they say, “Age is just a number. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter”. With that in mind, “Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to Mrs Z, Happy Birthday to me”.  I am now a year older and hopefully, a year wiser.

Birthday Resolutions: To be a better wife, a better mother, a better daughter/daughter in law, a better sister/sister in law, a better cousin/cousin in law, a better aunt, a better friend, a better being..... and Insya-Allah, a better Muslim. Amin.

Al Fatihah for Nur Sara Aleesya.