How much is too much?

My seven years old son is currently learning Iqra & Fardhu Ain, taking piano lessons, goes for fencing, attend’s Kumon and I’m thinking of sending him for Mandarin lessons and swimming classes as well. Being a Muslim, Iqra & Fardhu Ain classes are compulsory for him in my books but the other extras, are they too much for him? Currently he’s on holiday but when the school academic year begins in a few weeks time and he has to juggle school, after school activities plus all the other classes/lessons I mentioned earlier, am I overdoing it as a parent?

I don’t want to see my son toil under pressure but all parents especially here in Singapore seems to be sending their kids for all sorts of extra curricular activities since they were just mere toddlers. I was told by the owner (Ms J) of the Kumon centre that my son goes to, that their youngest student there is three years old and here I am starting my son with Kumon at the age of seven. Three years old!!! Can you believe that? I felt that I was sort of a failure as a parent in the watchful eyes of Ms J for starting my son with Kumon at the age of 7. Even when my son was going for piano lessons at one of the music schools here (he now learns piano with a private tutor at home), I see toddlers ranging from 2 years old onwards going for music lessons.

I read somewhere that sending your kids as early as possible for all the extra curricular classes is good. It helps to shape and mold their creativity and talents that are forming. These extra-curricular classes are also more than just a way to keep the kids busy. These classes actually have a real impact on children’s development and are a wonderful way to bond, build confidence and learn social skills such as taking turns, listening and sharing.

If you see that your child loves music, maybe you can sign them up for piano lessons or any other musical instruments lessons. If your child likes to dance, put them in a dance class. However, we should not push a child into what you think they may like or what we as parent wants them to like. We should always observe our child and try different things with them to determine what they are good at. Hubby and I noticed our son’s love for music, hence the piano lessons. As for the fencing, it was purely our decision. We decided he needed some sort of physical activity as he was fast gaining weight by watching too much TV and playing computer games. Luckily for us, he enjoys fencing.

A survey that was done in the UK involving 1,000 parents found that one in five parents spend more than 600 pounds on extra-curricular activities such as French, swimming, yoga, art, etc.Three quarters of parents in that survey with children under five believed giving them a head start in extra-curricular activities was really important for their children’s future.

There are also some parents with the views that while sending your child for all these extra curricular activities extremely beneficial, it is also absolutely essential to give children some downtime, where they can just play and spend time with family and friends. During this downtime, it actually gives the children a chance to practice conversation and social skills, develop imaginative skills while creating their own entertainment.

I guess at the end of the day, it goes back to you as a parent in deciding what’s best for your child. All parents wants the best for their children and If you have the means, why not send them for whatever extra curricular classes that would benefit them. However, at the same time, we also want our children to have a balanced life. Hence, everything should be done in the right proportion.

Having said that, I hope I’m not overdoing it for my son and hoping my son knows that whatever Mummy & Daddy is making him do now is in his best interests.