My Shoulder To Cry On.

Today’s entry is dedicated to a very special person in my life, Ms P, who has been a friend when I’m in need, my shoulder to cry on & the best gal friend that I could ever hope for.

Dearest P,

I understand the turmoil, the anxiety that you’re currently going through. You’re wondering whether the decision you made to leave Hong Kong is the right thing to do.

Please ignore the comments you’ve been getting from others as to why you should remain in Hong Kong. It is your life after all and only you would know what’s best for you. 

“No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow. – Alice Walker”

What is the point of continuing to be in a place that no longer makes you happy especially when your heart yearns to be back home among your loved ones?

God works in mysterious ways and I’m sure God has a plan for you. Taking this bold step to move back home, is no doubt a big gamble, career wise. But then you’ve pretty much being doing the same thing for the past 7 years. It’s definitely time to move on. You don’t owe anybody anything but yourself.

I salute you for being very brave in deciding that it’s time to move on at this juncture of your life. It takes a lot of guts and determination. If there’s anybody I know who can make it through life no matter what life may have in store for him/her, that person is definitely YOU!

Before I log off, a little something for you.

A Friend's Greeting

I'd like to be the sort of friend that

you have been to me;

I'd like to be the help that

you've been always glad to be;

I'd like to mean as much to you

each minute of the day

As you have meant, dearest friend of mine,

to me along the way.

I'd like to do the big things and

the splendid things for you,

To brush the gray from out your skies

and leave them only blue;

I'd like to say the kindly things that

I so often have heard,

And feel that I could rouse your soul

the way that mine you've stirred.

I'd like to give you back the joy

that you have given me,

Yet that were wishing you a need

I hope will never be;

I'd like to make you feel as rich as I,

who travel on

Undaunted in the darkest hours with you to

lean upon.

I'm wishing at this time that I

could but repay

A portion of the gladness that

you've strewn along my way;

And could I have one wish this year,

this only would it be:

I'd like to be the sort of friend

that you have been to me.

- Edgar A Guest -

Please remember that, you’ll always have a friend in me, who’ll stand by you all the way, no matter what you may decide in life.

xoxo

Mrs Z

Shafiq passed his AEIS!!!

My darling son Shafiq made his parents so proud today. He passed the AEIS (Admission Exercise For International Students) exams and has been offered a place in one of the top local schools in Singapore. It is extremely difficult for international students to enter the mainstream public schools here and for Shafiq to be able to pass the exams after going through so much this year, is such a blessing. Alhamdullilah.

One of the main reasons that influenced my hubby’s decision to accept the job offer in Singapore was primarily due to our son’s education. Back in Hong Kong, Shafiq was studying in an International School and we found the education system lacking in so many ways. The International school system seems to emphasis more on play rather than education and having to fork out HKD5,000 a month on schools fees was such a waste of money when I could have just had Shafiq home schooled.

We could have just continued sending Shafiq to another International School here in Singapore but we’ve learnt our lesson in Hong Kong. No more International School for our son. The education system for the local schools in Singapore are so advanced. Their maths curriculum for example, if I were to compare to the schools in Malaysia, the Primary 1 students in Singapore are doing Math equations that are being taught to the Standard 3 students back in Malaysia.

Some sample of Primary 1 Maths question here in Singapore:

Sample 1:

Miss Koh, the Mathematics teacher, told the class that they can multiply 3 different ways to get the answer 20. Write the three different ways below.

Sample 2:

Amelia and Roger have 20 dollars. When Roger give Amelia 4 dollars, each of them has the same amount of money. How much money does Amelia have at first?

Sample 3:

Whenever Danny saves $2 in his coin box, his father puts in $1 into Danny’s coin box. How much money does Danny save on his own if his father puts in $9?

Note: I don’t seem to remember attempting that sort of questions when I was in Standard 1.

On top of that, English is the language of classroom instruction where back in Malaysia, they have already scrap off teaching Science & Maths in English. Regardless of the fact that English is the medium used in the local Singapore schools, as part of Singapore education system, all students are required to study their mother tongue language as part of the curriculum. In Shafiq’s case, he’ll get to study the Malay language as a subject at the local school here, something that he will not be able to do if we were to enroll him into an International School.

I am not trying to be an advocate of the Singapore education system but they must be doing something right as more and more expat parents are trying to enroll their kids into the local schools here. On top of that, many Malaysian parents especially the ones staying in Johor, Malaysia are sending their kids to the schools in Singapore whereby the kids commute to Singapore on a daily basis.

I really hope that Shafiq will be able to get the best out of the education system here in Singapore. As a parent, I only want what’s best for my darling son.

Wishing him all the best in his new school.

How much is too much?

My seven years old son is currently learning Iqra & Fardhu Ain, taking piano lessons, goes for fencing, attend’s Kumon and I’m thinking of sending him for Mandarin lessons and swimming classes as well. Being a Muslim, Iqra & Fardhu Ain classes are compulsory for him in my books but the other extras, are they too much for him? Currently he’s on holiday but when the school academic year begins in a few weeks time and he has to juggle school, after school activities plus all the other classes/lessons I mentioned earlier, am I overdoing it as a parent?

I don’t want to see my son toil under pressure but all parents especially here in Singapore seems to be sending their kids for all sorts of extra curricular activities since they were just mere toddlers. I was told by the owner (Ms J) of the Kumon centre that my son goes to, that their youngest student there is three years old and here I am starting my son with Kumon at the age of seven. Three years old!!! Can you believe that? I felt that I was sort of a failure as a parent in the watchful eyes of Ms J for starting my son with Kumon at the age of 7. Even when my son was going for piano lessons at one of the music schools here (he now learns piano with a private tutor at home), I see toddlers ranging from 2 years old onwards going for music lessons.

I read somewhere that sending your kids as early as possible for all the extra curricular classes is good. It helps to shape and mold their creativity and talents that are forming. These extra-curricular classes are also more than just a way to keep the kids busy. These classes actually have a real impact on children’s development and are a wonderful way to bond, build confidence and learn social skills such as taking turns, listening and sharing.

If you see that your child loves music, maybe you can sign them up for piano lessons or any other musical instruments lessons. If your child likes to dance, put them in a dance class. However, we should not push a child into what you think they may like or what we as parent wants them to like. We should always observe our child and try different things with them to determine what they are good at. Hubby and I noticed our son’s love for music, hence the piano lessons. As for the fencing, it was purely our decision. We decided he needed some sort of physical activity as he was fast gaining weight by watching too much TV and playing computer games. Luckily for us, he enjoys fencing.

A survey that was done in the UK involving 1,000 parents found that one in five parents spend more than 600 pounds on extra-curricular activities such as French, swimming, yoga, art, etc.Three quarters of parents in that survey with children under five believed giving them a head start in extra-curricular activities was really important for their children’s future.

There are also some parents with the views that while sending your child for all these extra curricular activities extremely beneficial, it is also absolutely essential to give children some downtime, where they can just play and spend time with family and friends. During this downtime, it actually gives the children a chance to practice conversation and social skills, develop imaginative skills while creating their own entertainment.

I guess at the end of the day, it goes back to you as a parent in deciding what’s best for your child. All parents wants the best for their children and If you have the means, why not send them for whatever extra curricular classes that would benefit them. However, at the same time, we also want our children to have a balanced life. Hence, everything should be done in the right proportion.

Having said that, I hope I’m not overdoing it for my son and hoping my son knows that whatever Mummy & Daddy is making him do now is in his best interests.

Kari Udang Cik Pah.

Cik Pah, a fellow Malaysian whom I had the pleasure of befriending when I was residing in Hong Kong contacted me on facebook recently with a request. She wanted my recipe for “kari udang/prawn curry”. The thing is, when I was in Hong Kong, whenever we had any “makan-makan” gathering, I usually make “kari udang” as prawns are easy to get. (Halal meat not so easy to get as I’ll have to go all the way to Bowrington Market in Causeway Bay) It sort of became like a trademark dish for me. Friends claim they love my “kari udang” or maybe they were just being nice. :D

The thing is, I’m not that good at giving out the exact measurements for my own recipe. Everything is “main agak-agak”. Suprisingly, Cik Pah managed to dish out the “kari udang” based on the recipe I gave her.

Below, are the excerpts from our facebook messages:

Cik Pah:

salam,kak sui...apa khabar? sehat?hehee...ahli2 hk nih dh lama xrasa lepak2 umah kak sui mcm dulu..pah lagi laa kan.hmm..k sui nak tahu,syed ada mengidam nk mkn kari udang mcm kak sui buat lah..pah xpernah lg rasa..katanya sedap sgt.bleh x kak sui bg resepi kari udang sedap tu...hehhe.udang besar syed dh bli..tp pah blum buat pasal xreti lah.ni nk mntak resepi..harap2 sudilah ye tuan hamba berkongsi resepi udang kari .....;)

Me:

Walaikumsalam Cik Pah.

Resepi kari udang tu senang aje tapi Kak Su tak retilah the exact measurement. Cik Pah kena pandai agak2 sendiri.

Bahan-bahan:

1/2 cawan serbuk kari ikan

(Terpulang pada Cik Pah, nak lebih atau nak kurang)

3 sudu besar serbuk cili atau cili boh.

(Terpulang pada Cik Pah, nak lebih pedas atau nak kurang pedas. Kalau pakai cili boh lagi sedap)

1 mangkuk air asam jawa. (Terpulang nak masam banyak mana, so Cik Pah boleh adjust sendiri)

3 biji tomato (ikut suka hati nak potong macam mana)

3-4 biji kentang (ikut suka hati nak potong macam mana)

3-4 biji cili hijau (belah 4)

I tin besar santan ( kalau nak lebih pekat, lebihkan santan)

Garam secukup rasa

Udang atau ikan atau ketam 

(Boleh guna resepi ni untuk udang, ikan dan ketam)

Segenggam daun ketumbar

Satu labu bawang besar - untuk tumis

Daun kari - untuk tumis

Halba - untuk tumis

Cara-cara memasak:

Campurkan serbuk kari, serbuk cili/cili boh, air asam jawa, tomato, kentang, cili hijau, garam ke dalam periuk. Panaskan. Bila dah mendidih, masukkan santan. Kalau nak pekat, lebihkan santan, kalau nak cair lebihkan air. Bila dah mendidih, masukkan udang.

Di kuali lain pulak, tumiskan bawang besar, daun kari dan halba sampai bawang besar dah kekuningan. Lepas tu, tuangkan kesemuanya (dengan minyak sekali) ke dalam periuk kari.

Bila rasa macam dah nak masak, potong daun ketumbar & taburkan atas kari. Lepas tu, tutup api & coverkan periuk.

Sekian,

p/s: Kak Su masak main agak2. So, kalau rasa kuantiti bahan macam tak kena, Cik Pah kena pandai adjust ikut selera Cik Pah.

Lepas dah masak, jgn lupa beritahu hasilnya. Kalau boleh, ambik gambar & letak kat fb. :D

Cik Pah:

hampir menjadi gak la kari udang tu yg mcm k sui punyer.hehe.ni pah ada attach gambor..ok x..hhehehe.

To my dear friend Cik Pah, thank you for trying out the recipe and sharing the pic with me so that I could put it up on my blog. ( Sorry ye Cik Pah, tak mintak permission terlebih dulu. Jangan marah ye! :D)

Anybody in the mood for "Kari Udang"?

"Happy Birthday Mrs Z".

I officially turn 35 years old today. I don’t really feel 35 but then again, how is a 35 years old supposed to feel? But I sure am dreading the big “40” which is waiting for me in 5 years time. When I turned 30, I hardly noticed it as I was busy being a wife, a mother to a very active toddler and juggling a career in HR. I hardly noticed the happenings of the world, let alone that I had turned 30. This time around, it feels different and I am very much aware of the looming “40”.

A lot happened in the past year, the most defining event being the birth of my daughter Sara, whom I lost 2 days 10 hours after her birth to Edwards Syndrome. As today marks my 35 years of existence in this world, yesterday marks the 2 months since my little baby girl left us. Her passing has affected me deeply, thus making my birthday today a bittersweet affair. I’m a much better person now, emotionally, than I was that very  day I lost her 2 months ago but I do still feel the sadness, despair and anguish from time to time. I know she is in a better place now so I really should move on with my life. Easier said than done, but life has to go on. I have to continue living for both my boys, my hubby & my son, Shafiq.

Flowers on my birthday from beloved Hubby.
 "Thank you Sayang".

I am extremely blessed with a wonderful and caring husband who loves me (and claims that he will love me for eternity. :D), an adoring son whom I am so proud of, family and friends whom have always been there for me. What more could I ask for?

Like they say, “Age is just a number. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter”. With that in mind, “Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to Mrs Z, Happy Birthday to me”.  I am now a year older and hopefully, a year wiser.

Birthday Resolutions: To be a better wife, a better mother, a better daughter/daughter in law, a better sister/sister in law, a better cousin/cousin in law, a better aunt, a better friend, a better being..... and Insya-Allah, a better Muslim. Amin.

Al Fatihah for Nur Sara Aleesya.