Upset.

My morning started off well this morning. Had breakfast with Hubby at a cafe near our place before sending him off to work. Then, I headed straight to the service centre to service our car. While waiting for our car to be serviced, called back home to find out whether Shafiq's Ustazah (religious teacher) has arrived for Shafiq's weekly mengaji and Fardhu Ain lessons. Sad to say, she did not turn up at all for today's lesson. Why wasn't I surprised?

So, I smsed her a few times to ask whether she's coming. No reply. Called her Blackberry (yup, she has a blackberry. Maklumlah Ustazah alaf baru) repeatedly, but no answer. Finally, when she decided to answer her phone, she told me she already smsed me last week saying that she can't make it this week because she's got a doctor's appointment today. 

Here's the thing. I did not receive the sms she claimed to have sent me last week. So fine, I was back in Malaysia last week but my Singapore number was on roaming and I had it on 24 hours. How come I received smses from my friends in Singapore wishing me Selamat Hari Raya but no smses from her about canceling today's class?

Okaylah, you might think, so what's the big deal about her missing today's class? Why must I make it into a big issue? The thing is, It's not only today that she's canceling classes. She has not been coming for Shafiq's weekly lessons for nearly 2 months now and I have been very understanding and accommodating with her situation.

To be fair to her, let me tell you why she's not been coming for her weekly lessons at our home. You see, she just got pregnant recently and was going through a period of terrible morning sickness. Me, being a woman myself, having been pregnant before and have experienced terrible bout of morning sickness, sympathized with her situation whenever she said she can't make it.

Later, unfortunately for her, she miscarried when she was about 9-10 weeks pregnant. Here I am again, being very understanding, told her how sorry I was with her situation and told her that she should rest at home and resume lessons with Shafiq after the Raya hols. She said okay and that she will resume lessons on September 16th.

Today, being September 16th, Shafiq was waiting at home for her to arrive. She's supposed to come at 9.30am but she always comes at 10.00am anyway (Never once did I get angry about her coming late).Come 10.15am, no show from her so I had to sms and call her. After a number of smses and phone calls, I finally got her on the phone.

Bits of the conversation I had with her:

Ustazah: "Mrs Z, I have a doctor's appointment today. I already smsed you last week that I can't make it today"

Me: "What sms? I didn't receive any sms from you about canceling today's class."

Ustazah: " I did sms you last week Mrs Z".

Me: "Nope, I didn't receive any smses from you. The last sms I received from you was that you will resume class with Shafiq on September 16th, which is today."

So the conversation went on about her smsing me and me telling her that I did not receive her sms when I finally told her off...

Me: "You know what? I've been very understanding and accommodating with your situation. Never have I once complained or gotten angry with you."

Ustazah: "Yes Mrs Z, I know but I already smsed you last week...."

Me: " No, you listen to me. If you really did sms me last week, I would have replied to your sms immediately. I always reply to your smses though you always seem to take a very long time to reply my smses...."

Ustazah: " No Mrs Z....."

Me: "I don't want to listen to your excuses anymore. I think very highly of you and Shafiq adores you but you have been taking us both for granted. Where's your sense of responsibility? Shafiq dah 2 bulan tak mengaji and belajar Fardhu Ain but I never said anything because I kesian kat you. I understand what you're going through. I siap offer nak hantar Shafiq to your house but you never got back to me on that. Berapa banyak sms I hantar kat you, you only reply sekali dua. What kind of Ustazah are you?"

Ustazah: " I'm so sorry Mrs Z"

Me: "If you no longer want to teach Shafiq, let us know. Why do you keep canceling and postponing the classes?"

Ustazah: "I don't mean to...."

This time around, I couldn't hold it any longer.

Me: "I've had enough of your excuses, okay? I know you had bad morning sickness and then you miscarried. But I had it worse, ok? My Baby died!!!  Life goes on, okay!!! You, of all people should understand about God's will and all since you're a religious teacher yourself. If you don't want to teach my son anymore, fine with us!!! I'll find other alternatives!

With that, I hung up on her.

You people might think that I'm being very harsh on her and that I'm not being understanding at all, not taking into account her current situation. But there's more to it, okay? That is why it came to a point where I lost my temper with her today.

She's a good teacher, that I have to admit. I never had any problems with her prior to her marriage. She got married last December. I even did her wedding hantaran and Hubby gave her SGD300 for her wedding angpow. Bukannya nak ungkit, but just to let you know how nice we've been to her. We also pay slightly more than the standard rate set by MUIS (Majlis Ugama Islam Singapura) for religious teachers/tutors.

After she got married and had to move to her husband's place which is far from our home, I asked her whether she still wants to continue teaching Shafiq. She said she loves Shafiq and wants to continue teaching Shafiq for as long as it takes. I was very happy to hear that thinking to myself, Alhamdullilah, Shafiq has a good ustazah and that she still wants to continue teaching him after marriage. I volunteered to send Shafiq to her place but she said I don't have to. She will continue coming to our house as per the existing arrangement.

Anyway, soon after marriage, she started coming late. I never said anything. She keeps apologizing for her lateness saying that she has to cook first before leaving the house. Okaylah, I understand, she just got married so she's trying to be a good wife.

Over the months, she started missing lessons and I've been getting all kinds of excuses. 


1) Not feeling well ( She has used this excuse more than once)


2) Food poisoning.


3) Morning sickness. (This I can relate to as I have been pregnant twice.)

4) Uncle passed away, must accompany her Mom to the funeral. (Death is something unforeseeable so I cannot complain about this)

5) Husband's grandmother sesak nafas, kena bawak pegi clinic. (Okaylah, nenek sakit, what can I say?)

6) She had work related meeting. (She's working part time at a mosque so she's got to attend some meetings from time to time but I don't know why all her work related meeting always falls on the day of Shafiq's class.)

and the best one of all,

7) She forgot that Shafiq had lessons with her on that day. (I didn't know whether to laugh or scream at her at that point in time)


With all those excuses given, I was still very patient with her, never once lost my temper. Though deep in my heart, I've always wondered, kalau macam ni punya Ustazah, bilalah anak aku ni boleh qatam Quran.

There was one time, she came to our house on a Tuesday morning instead of Thursday. Shafiq has Kumon every Tuesdays and Fridays so imagine my surprise when she rang our doorbell one Tuesday morning. When I asked her why she came, she said she thought she had lessons with Shafiq on Tuesdays. 

In actual fact, she's teaching somebody else on Tuesday and wrongly came to our place. Kesian budak yang belajar with her on Tuesdays who was waiting for her but she came to our place instead. ish,ish,ish...

I really don't know what happened to her after she got married.

So today, unfortunately, my temper got the better of me so she finally got to see the "ugly side" of me.

She smsed me just now apologizing about the way she's been lately and that she still wants to continue teaching Shafiq but I don't know whether I want Shafiq to continue with her anymore.

I've had it being nice to people.