Here comes another Monday. After what seems like a “bullet-speed” weekend (how time flies…. sigh), it’s back to the weekly routine. Come Monday to Friday, I become the unofficial “chauffer” to hubby and son. (Can’t complain about the “chauferring” bit as Hubby has given a nice car to drive around.)
I really don’t know what’s wrong with me at times. I have a great life, the love and devotion of a wonderful man whom I proud to call my husband, an adoring son who’s always telling me how much he loves me and yet there comes the time where I feel a sense of emptiness inside of me that I’m finding hard to shake off.
Back in August 2007, I was a wife and a mother with a career. I was a Group HR Manager for a plc with 8 subordinates reporting directly to me. Come September 2007, Hubby got promoted and as the new position required my Hubby to be based in Hong Kong, I quit my job and followed Hubby as the family made the move to Hong Kong. For the first time in my married life, I became a full time mother and wife. After 2 years in Hong Kong, another big leap in Hubby’s career and hence the move to Singapore where we currently reside.
I have never regretted the decision to quit my job as the family follows Hubby to wherever his career path may take us. It has been an exciting journey and an eye opening experience for us. I felt that it is the right calling for me to be there 100% for the family. But as Hubby climbs up the career ladder and my son is growing up so fast right in front of my eyes, I’m beginning to feel so left behind, with no career accomplishments or any sort of personal accomplishments that I can be proud of. I wonder if other housewives feel the same way that I feel.
Many of my working friends say that they are envious of my life. They wish they could just quit their jobs and dedicate their lives to being a full time housewife but financially they can’t afford to. Well, I guess I’m lucky enough that I don’t really have to be worried about finances as the monthly allowance that my Hubby gives me is more than what I was earning when I was still working. But at times, I think I’m the envious one when I see my friends doing so well in their respective careers.
Is there something wrong with me? Why can’t I just be contented with the great life that has been bestowed upon me? Sigh….
Sui,
ReplyDeleteI was like you. At times I think I am still like you. I was a secretary to a senior project manager and life was full of exciting things. Site visits, travelling, attending meetings - I felt that I was an important person.
When I resigned, the first year was really hard. Coz it was so a drastic change. Tapi after sometime, I get the hang of it and now I kinda enjoy myself being their full time mom + chaufer + 'teacher' + bibik + personal shopper! But I make a pact with hubby. I told him that once a while I want my time-out! I want to relax myself (retail therapy, maybe?!), time alone. He has to agree to it. haha!
Of coz there are those occasional blues that make me wanna "turn back clock" and be like who I was.
Sekarang ni, i dont put on makeup anymore, just a tint of lipstick. I think I look "toya" most of the time and "fat". haha. (must groom myself again!)
To me Sui, there is nothing wrong with you (and me). Kita bersyukur tapi sometimes that "ungrateful" feelings get the better of us. Itu kadang tu I jadi macam "mak tiri" to the kids - NOT GOOD.
Maybe we should change "blues" to "rock & roll", huh?
hehe.
Take care, luv.