How I Became Mrs Z.

As with many love stories, the love story of Hubby and I may seem nothing out of the ordinary except to those who experienced them of course. Nevertheless, I would still like to think of it as a beautiful love story that I hope to be able to pass down to my children and later on to their children and so on, some day.

As fate would have it, I was destined to meet my husband for the very first time on August 21st, 2000. I just came back from a job interview and was hanging out with my friend SW at her home in Bangsar. She then received a call from a guy friend of hers, A, who wants to meet up for coffee.

Here’s the thing, my friend SW has been wanting to set me up with her friend A, for as long as I could remember but I always refused. Back in my twenties, I was really skeptical about being set up with friends’ friends, blind dates and so on. At that point in time, I was 26, single and couldn’t care less about looking for a boyfriend, let alone think about marriage.

So after much persuasion from SW, I relented and agreed to accompany her for coffee with her friend A, at Austin Chase in Bangsar Shopping Complex. (BSC). In the car, on the way to BSC, I was fuming mad at SW for dragging me along with her to meet A. SW said that A wanted to catch up over coffee as they have not met up for quite some time. Though I know, it’s all part of SW’s plan for me to finally meet A.

We then arrived at BSC, parked the car and made our way to Austin Chase- nothing extraordinary yet so far but little would I know what's in store for me that fateful day. Upon arrival, we saw these 2 gentlemen sitting at a corner and one of them waved at SW. So I said to myself, that must be the infamous A.  Made our way to the table and introductions were made. The other guy accompanying A was his friend Z. (aka Hubby). SW and I then sat down opposite both of them and immediately proceed to order our drinks.

Hubby was the one who strike the first conversation. I would always remember the first question he asked me, the so-called “ice-breaker” - “Which part of Penang are you from?" (I don’t know why that was his first question of choice but he later told me it was because I had this “Bollywood/anak Mami Penang punya face”. I don’t know whether I should feel flattered or what.)

Between A & Hubby, Hubby was the one who was asking me a lot of questions. I was rather surprised by the turn of events as I knew that my friend SW wanted to set me up with A. Not that I was complaining or anything but I found myself enjoying Hubby’s conversations more as A seems to be more focused on staring at me than actually having a proper conversation with me.

As Hubby & I started exchanging personal stories, we discovered that we had a lot in common. He was born in Kuantan and I grew up in Kuantan. We seem to have many mutual family friends.I also found out that this one particular restaurant in Kuantan that I usually frequent for breakfast belong’s to his Uncle and I knew his Aunty quite well.

Besides that, both Hubby and I were law graduates from the UK, so we definitely had a lot to talk about, from the universities that we graduated from, the law subjects that we took, our favourite spots in London, his trip to Scotland, my trip to Scotland, the conversation topics seem endless. The best thing of all, he spoke perfect English with a hint of the Queen accent that I found rather charming. (Though I have never admitted to him about liking his accent, I told him that when we first met, I thought he was a "mat saleh celup". hehehe)

I really did not know what to say to A. After several attempts of trying to draw him into the conversations between SW, Hubby and myself, but with very little response from A, I totally gave up.I tried my level best to be as friendly as I could be. So I guess, SW’s attempt to play matchmaker between me & A did not exactly worked out as planned but a new chapter in my life was about to take its course...

Before I knew it, the time came for us to leave. I admit that I really enjoyed meeting Hubby and since we seem to have many mutual family friends, I decided to ask for his handphone number. Since I already exchanged numbers with A, I thought it was only fair that I did the same with Hubby. (Because of that, up till this very day, Hubby always tells everybody that it was me who made the first move by asking for his number and not vice versa. (Okaylah Sayang, whatever makes you happy. :p)

I went home happy but never gave much thought about meeting up with Hubby again.

Imagine my surprise the very next morning, when I received a text from Hubby.

“Good morning. It’s me, Z. We met yesterday. I really enjoyed meeting you. Perhaps we can meet up again, soon.”

Okay, I admit that I was beyond please to receive Hubby’s text. I replied saying that I enjoyed meeting him too. Immediately after I replied his text, he called and asked me out to dinner that very night itself. I know it was too soon to be going out with a guy that I just met the day before but I nevertheless agreed to meet him for dinner. He mentioned about this really nice “nasi lemak” place in Kelana Jaya that he wants to take me to.

Guess what? My first date with Hubby was at a nasi lemak stall (it was not even a proper restaurant) in Kelana Jaya. I was surprised that Hubby took me there but I was not complaining. The food was good, the company was excellent. What more could I ask for? (Hubby later confessed that he purposely took me out for dinner at the stall as he wanted to see what kind of person I really was. He wanted to see whether I ni sanggup makan kat warung or not, whether I ni jenis “high maintenance” or not.) Guess I passed the first date with flying colours. :D

After that first date, for the next two weeks, we spent every waking hours (outside office hours) together. During that first 2 weeks together, we knew that we were beginning to really like each other, more and more so with each passing day. No words of love were exchanged yet between us. After all, it has only been two weeks. Too early to be exchanging "I love you", right?

However, by the end of the 2 weeks, Hubby surprised me by saying, 


“I see us growing old together. Let’s get married” (with his accented English that I found so charming.)

I went like…. “Huh? Are you serious?”

Hubby said, “I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life.”

I then asked him, “Isn’t it too soon? We’ve only known each other for 2 weeks.”

He said. “I already know everything I need to know about you.”

At that point in our relationship, neither of us has met with each other’s family so when Hubby said “let’s get married”, it seems a bit far-fetched.

I then looked at him and said. “ Are you really serious? Were you actually proposing when you said let’s get married?”

“Yes, I was. So, what say you?" replied Hubby.

A lot of things were going on in my mind at that particular moment in time. Wondering what my parents were going to say especially since they have not even met him. (Come to think of it, they haven't even heard about him yet) Would they be able to accept Hubby as their son in law, would my siblings like him, would his family accept me, well the list was endless.

But with all that worrying going on inside my head, I don't know what came of me, I then looked at Hubby, smiled and said, “Yes! Let’s get married”.

Just like that, we unofficially became engaged. No exchange of rings, family members were not in the know of each other’s existence but we both already agreed to spend the rest of our lives together. Call us crazy or what not, but after knowing each other for only 2 weeks, we knew that we we so right for each other.


Fate huh? It does work in mysterious way I'd say....

It was only after the unofficial engagement that we both finally met up with both of our families. Alhamdullilah, both families agreed to the marriage even though we haven't known each other for that long. We became officially engaged on December 30th, 2000 at my family home in Kuantan, 4 months after the first day we met.

Ten months after the official engagement, we got married on October 20th, 2001. Exactly about 1 year, two months from the day we first met.

That’s how I became Mrs. Z. :D

End of story.

p/s: To my darling Hubby of 9 years, “Happy 9th Wedding Anniversary My Love. I am so looking forward to growing old with you.”

Chocolate "Batik" Cake.

Happy Monday people! Hope everyone had a great weekend. :D

I'm sure many of you are familiar with kek batik, right? It is definitely a very easy, instant, bake-less cake that anybody can whipped up in a matter of minutes. My MIL made some for us during our last trip back to KL. Instead of using "milo", she used milk chocolate and we absolutely loved it especially both my boys aka Hubby and Shafiq.

Hubby and Shafiq finished the "kek batik" that my MIL made for us to bring back home within two days, and later asked me whether there was any left after having finished up the whole cake by themselves.

That's when I decided to try doing the "kek batik" myself.

Here's my version of the "kek batik".

   

Ingredients:

• 2 X 200 gm Cadbury Dairy Milk Chocolate
• 80gm roasted almond
• 80gm roasted macadamia nuts
• 200 gm digestive biscuits (I used Mcvities digestive biscuits)
• 125gm butter (I used buttercup)
• 1small tin of condensed milk. (I used milkmaid)

Preparation:

1. Melt the chocolates with the butter and milk using the "double boil" method.
2. In a separate bowl, break the biscuits into not so small pieces and then mixed it up with the roasted almond and macadamia nuts.
3. Then combined the melted chocolate mix together with biscuits and nuts. Mixed them well.
4. Pour the mixture into a cake tin / container / etc. To make it easier for you to remove the cake later, make sure you put a "cling wrap/plastic wrap" at the bottom of the cake tin before you pour the cake mixture into it so that it will be easier for you to remove the cake once it's harden.
5. Refrigerate the cake for about 3 to 4 hours. 
6. Then it's ready to be cut and served.

Enjoy!

Do give the recipe above a try. It's really easy and absolutely yummy. Don't just take my words for it, try it for yourselves. Let me know how it turns out, okay?

Have a good week you all! :D

Life 101. (Lesson 1)

"I've learned that you should always leave your loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see or talk to them".

The last time I saw my late Dad was the day before our life changing move to Hong Kong in 2007. Exactly 1 month and 16 days before he passed away. He did not see me off at the airport as he is a person who hated goodbyes. 

The last time I spoke to my Dad was on the morning of Raya in 2007. Four days later he passed away.

"Take care Daddy. I'll talk to you again soon", were my last words to him.

If only I'd known that was to be our last conversation with each other, I would have told him,

"I Love You So Much Daddy".

To those of you blessed with parents who are still very much present in your lives, make sure that the last words spoken to them, are words of love and that the last image they see of you is a happy one. You never know, it might just be the last time you get to see them or speak to them. 

That is why nowadays, I make sure that I end my phone conversations with my Mom saying "I Love You" because it might just be the last words I get to say to her.

Today marks the 3rd year since my Dad left us.

To my Daddy Dearest, "Please know Daddy that you're always in my thoughts and my prayers. I miss you."

Al Fatihah.

Blog Makeover.

Yes. I'm bored! Hubby is at the Singapore "Paneristi" get together, Shafiq busy with his XBox so Mummy is feeling kind of lonely. sigh...

So, decided to "menggatal" with whatever template design, blog background that's available on blogger.com and the results.....voila! 

Me, kind of like my new blog look. (Cewah....memuji blog sendiri....hehehe). It's a lot of green and I like it that way. Very soothing to look at. (me thinks...)

Okaylah people. I've got to start dinner. Already defrosted the chicken and prawns but still no clue on what to do with them.

Anyway, HAGWE! 

p/s: In case you people are wondering what the heck is "Paneristi", just click here.

Let It Be Known.

Be warned Peeps! This is a "melepaskan geram" post. 

A friend of mine stumbled upon this so-called blog of mine. I have no idea how as not many friends (only really close ones) or family members have been informed about this new side hobby of mine but she got to know about it. Okaylah, what's the big deal, right? Why blog kalau tak nak orang lain baca, betul tak?

I’m not angry that she got to know about the blog but what really ticked me off was what she said, "It must be great being you, a full time housewife. Tak payah pening-pening kepala nak kena pergi kerja macam I ni. You boleh duduk lepak rumah, a lot of free time for yourself, can even start a blog."

So friend, what are you trying to imply here? That people who blog have nothing better to do with their lives?

It really pisses me off when people think that being a full time housewife means that I have so much free time on my hands.

Here’s a little something that I would like to say to that friend of mine coz I know for a fact that she’s reading my blog.

Dear Friend,

Please let it be known that my current occupation as a professional homemaker is purely a decision of my own. I don’t have to be gainfully employed like you as my Husband earns more than enough, that if I eventually decide to return to work, it would be an insult to his earning capabilities.

Please let it be known, being a homemaker does not mean I stay at home, “goyang kaki”, surf the net the entire day while I wait for my son to finish school and Hubby to come home from work. This particular homemaker has a full job description that she adheres to.

Please let it be known, that I am solely responsible for all the household duties. Yes, I have a domestic helper but I am one hundred responsible for the primary care of both my Husband and Son.

Please let it be known that I have to ensure a healthy and conducive living for the family by making sure that my home surroundings are clean and hygienic. Believe it or not, I do mop the floors and vacuum the carpets, clean the toilets and do laundry. Although our condo is located on the 10th floor, I occasionally clean the windows though the thought of me being 10 storey off the ground is terrifying at times.

Please let it be known, though I have a domestic help at home, she’s useless and hopeless and the only reason we’re still keeping her is because we need somebody to be at home to look after our son should there be a need for us to go out and leave him at home.

Please let it be known that I am the “only chef” in the kitchen. The title “only chef” means that I am fully responsible for all meals that is being served on the family’s dining table. I have to plan meals menu within the budget allocated to me while making sure that the meals are always healthy and nutritious. I cook the meals myself. I go grocery shopping myself and frequent the wet market in Geylang Serai every other day.

Please let it be known that I am also a full time chauffer. I drive my husband to work and fetch him home. I drive my son to school and all his other extra curricular activities, enrichment classes, fencing lessons, etc. It gives me great pleasure to wave goodbye and welcome them back with hugs and kisses.

Please let it be known that even though I’m a non practicing lawyer, I currently do accounting full time. I manage the family’s finances by making sure every single expenses is being accounted for and being spent accordingly. No doubt, the husband brings in the “moolah”, but yours truly makes sure that there is enough left to put aside in savings for son’s education and our retirement funds.

Please let it be known that the reason I started this blog of mine was to use it as an avenue to channel my grieve when I lost my baby girl last year.

Please let it be known that I do not have so much free time as you think to seem. All entries on this blog is being done during my "me time".

Please let it be known, you may call me whatever you want or think of me in whatever manner you deem fit by your definition, but I am happy being me.

p/s: Feel free to comment on this post of mine since you always seem to have a lot of things to say about me. (Tak perlu kutuk I kat belakang!)

Sincerely,

Mrs Z.

My Love-Hate Relationship With "October".

The month of October has always been a favourite month of mine, besides the obvious month of December, being my birthday month. (So dear family members and friends, a big hint here. wink,wink) Hubby and I got married on October 20th, 2001. Since then, we both look forward to October, every single year as we celebrate that very special day in both of our lives when we officially became Mr. and Mrs. Z.

Besides our wedding anniversary, it is also the birth month of my late Dad, my late daughter and my darling sister, Linda. (Love you Sis)

However, it has now turn into a month of sadness and despair as both my Dad and daughter passed on in October. My Dad passed away on 17/10/2007, six days after celebrating his 63rd birthday on 11/10/2007 while my baby girl said goodbye to this world on 7/10/2009, exactly three days after making an entrance into our lives on 4/10/2009.

Since losing both my Dad and my daughter in the month of October, my wedding anniversary does not hold that much importance in my life, a fact that I much and truly regret. And for that, I owe my Darling Hubby, a huge apology. Despite the efforts that Hubby has put into making our wedding anniversary, a special event every single year, I find myself feeling guilty that I have a reason to be happy when two of the most important people in my life are no longer here with me.

So from today onwards, I promise myself that it is time I move on with my life, no matter how past memories has it's ways of bringing me down at times, as I still have a wonderful Hubby, an amazing son, a great family, supportive inlaws and incredible friends. I love you all.

To Hubby dearest, let's have a kicking and roaring celebration this coming anniversary. But on a more practical and religious note, having a "kenduri kesyukuran" is the best anniversary celebration to be had as I want God to know how thankful I am to be married to you. Amin.

My Darling Angel.

In memory of my baby girl, Nur Sara Aleesya who left us on the morning of October 7th, 2009. Al Fatihah.

My Darling Angel.

The day we said goodbye to you,

The world came crashing down on me.

I wish you were still here with me,

I wish for it every single day.

I think of you each passing moment,

I see you in my dreams.

I miss you Baby.

Today, exactly one year it has been,

To me it feels like only yesterday.

How I constantly blame myself for losing you,

I finally understood there's nothing I could do.

God loves you more Baby.

I hope and pray that we'll meet again someday,

Till then my Darling Angel, in our hearts you'll stay.

Happy Birthday Sara.

October 4th, 2010. If our lil baby girl was still with us, we would probably be celebrating her 1st birthday today.

Waking up this morning was quite a difficult feat for me as I knew what "today" represents. Since losing Sara last year, it has sort of become like a grieving ritual for me to keep track of how many days has passed since we lost our precious lil girl. 

I did not say anything to Hubby about "today" as I did not want him to be sad. However, before he left for office this morning, he asked me whether I knew what day it was today and before I knew it, he started to cry. I did not break down and cried with him as I wanted to be strong for him. Soon after he left, the flood gates of tears opened and I found myself crying my heart out as I remembered vividly everything that happened from the birth of our daughter, the endless hours spent at the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit), the heart wrenching feeling we experienced when the doctors confirmed that there's nothing they can do for Sara, holding a lifeless Sara in our hands, making the necessary arrangements for her funeral and finally going back home, no longer pregnant but without a baby to put into the beautiful crib we got her.

Nur Sara Aleesya was born on October 4th, via an emergency C-section, weighing only 1.45kg. and was immediately rushed to the NICU as her vital organs were struggling to function. The doctors suspected that she was suffering from some chromosome disorder and when the test results came back, it was confirmed that Sara has Trisomy 18 (also known as Edward’s Syndrome). The syndrome occurs in approximately one out of every 3,000 to 5,000 births and the doctors explained that babies with Trisomy 18 has a very low survival rate and in Sara’s case, there’s nothing that they can do as her vitals organs were not functioning accordingly. 

She left us on the morning of October 7th, 2009, after managing to hold on for as long as she could so that Daddy, Mommy, Abang Shafiq and the rest of our immediate family members could say our goodbyes.

I have never shared any photos of our Sara because it was too painful for me to look at them, let alone share them with family members and friends. Truth be told, I have never looked at the photos until this very morning. (With the exception of this one lil pic of her which have been stored in my handphone, that I look at every single night before I go to sleep)

As today is a special day in our lives, a day for me to remember that I have been blessed with a beautiful baby daughter, no matter if it was only for a fleeting moment, here are some personal photos that we took to remember her by.

Our lil darling, Nur Sara Aleesya.

The first time I got to hold her in my arms.

Saying goodbye to her was the most difficult thing I ever had to do.

Hubby having his final moments with her 

before we had to prepare her for the funeral.

Happy Birthday my lil princess. We love you, so very much.

Al Fatihah for my lil Angel.